I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
