I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
