Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
