You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
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