Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
