Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Randomize
