How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
We got so high we made milksteak
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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