He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
