It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Semen is not good for contacts.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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