Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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