Where is the hickey?
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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