because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
