Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
