you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
sex in a hospital.. check
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
