Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
