the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
