Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Randomize