we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
