So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
