the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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