Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
