Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Randomize
