Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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