Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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