I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
