party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
