well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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