you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
My vagina is very pro this idea
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
