Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
