Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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