Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Randomize
