she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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