are you so shy because you have an std?
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
