I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
