Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
