it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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