My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
