Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
