YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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