Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Randomize
