If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Boobs speak an international language.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
