I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
