WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
