my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Randomize
