its not stalking. its research.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
only you would photoshop your dick
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I deserve this hangover.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
