____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
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