just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
