Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
