Just cropdusted the office
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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