Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
