So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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