wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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